My father has been both physically absent from my life and also missing in my mind. This paternal absence has instigated a fetishization on my part for the father’s role in the family. Many of the men who comprise the gay bear culture fit my emotional (caring, affectionate) and mental (nurturing, domestic) depictions of a father, but I am also sexually attracted to their physical forms (facial/body hair, mass). This forces complications between sexuality and family, and leads me to explore the idea of incest through my interest in “Daddy bears” with me as their "son".