After many years of being online, I decided explore my fascination with facial hair by growing mine out and posting my daily and weekly progress in online chat forums. Through these posts, I chatted with men who are sexually attracted to facial hair. These conversations allowed me to explore their fetish for facial hair, ask what it meant to them to "be a man," and document their descriptions about what constitutes the ideal man. These conversations, along with the performance, gave me insight into why men idealize their bodies in certain ways, and how their perceptions and distortions shape and guide our community and broader society alike.